Wednesday, December 28, 2011

Grief and Loss

A few days ago I attended a memorial service for a Webster HS classmate, who also attended SUNY Potsdam at the same time I did. Laura was a beautiful girl and woman, inside and out. Unfortunately, I was never able to call her more than an acquaintance. There is a charitable fund called The Ana Duo Charitable Fund set up for Laura.

In addition to the loss of Laura, I also have been thinking a lot about my Dad, because the holidays are always a hard time without loved ones. Here is how I can help contribute to others whom are dealing with the loss of a loved one. I did a TON of reading after my Dad died, on the topic of loss, grief and mourning, so I know a bit about the topic. I also attended a conference with Dr. Alan Wolfelt an expert in loss, grief and mourning (can you imagine THAT job!?) Seriously though he was really good! I highly recommend him if you ever have the chance to see him, or read his books. I also attended a meeting on loss at my church, this was helpful as it was done before the holidays and it was about how to survive the holidays without your loved one. Let me give you one disclaimer though, not all people will turn to reading when they grieve, so it may or may not be your thing. If it is I do believe these will help you, if not, don't worry about it, you have enough on your plate and you will find other ways to grieve.

Some of the books that helped me:
  1. Life After Loss, A Practical guide to renewing your life after experiencing major loss, by Bob Deits, M. Th. (fifth edition) I can't say enough good stuff about this book.
  2. A series of 4 books that were handed to me through Stephen Ministries at my church, you read them in order AND at the appropriate time you think you are ready for the next book. All are by Kenneth C. Haugk

3. Healing After Loss, This book is a great book if you have little time! It provides small meditations for each day.

One of the greatest lessons I have learned on my grief journey, is that you have to do what works for you! Everyone grieves differently, shows their grief differently, so do what you need to do. Everything you experience is NORMAL and it is really important to remember to eat and drink and try to take care of yourself. Hope this helps.


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